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“I went looking for Heaven, found hell as a baby” is the battle cry repeated on this record. Sometimes we go on wild goose chases only to discover that what we’ve been looking for was actually inside us all along. In the past, I’ve manipulated myself, my body, and voice, to fit into other people’s expectations of me. When COVID hit and when isolated stared at me in the face, I found myself returning to a music that reminded me of an old self. An old self that I desired to nurture and craved to restore.
I dreamt a dream. Within that dream — or was it a memory — my old manager told me that I wouldn’t last a month in New York City and that my job as the cafe clerk would be waiting for me when I return. In this dream, I stared at her while she smoked her cigarette and when I awoke, this tune was stuck in my head. I guess this is the song that she wanted me to write.
Please enjoy the impromptu video. I wanted to capture something fun.
- Tangerine Scott
Looking For Heaven
It's not the same
I wanna be back on a porch with a cold beer in my hand
And I think I've changed
I'm afraid there's no one here that really can understand
They don't know 'bout the Wichita skies
They don't know how the moon looks at night there
They don't know all the places I'd hide
They don't know how the wind is a choir
I went looking for heaven, found hell as a baby
Trials and tribulations in a city that ain't me
I think it's time to go back there
I finally found what I'm after
It's me, myself, and I...
It's not the same
I wanna be back on a porch with a cold beer in my hand
And I think I've changed
I'm afraid there's no one here that really can understand
They don't know how the sky runs for miles
They don't know 95 on the highway
They don't know all the places I'd cry
They don't know how I miss the Kansas sunrise
I went looking for heaven, found hell as a baby
Trials and tribulations in a city that ain't me
I think it's time to go back there
I finally found what I'm after
It's me, myself, and I until the end of time
I went looking for, went looking for, looking for, looking for
I went looking for, went looking for, looking for, looking for
I went looking for heaven, found hell as a baby
Trials and tribulations in a city that ain't me
I think it's time to go back there
I finally found what I'm after
It's me, myself, and I until the end of time
Andrew Mai, professionally known as Tangerine Scott, is an American songwriter and record producer. He is currently working on his debut studio album with Thylacine Limited Records which will be released in 2023.
Connect on Instagram @tangerinescott